


Everything I Can't Say

by ALPHAwolf



Series: Finding Voice [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bullying, First Kiss, Fluff, HP: EWE, Hogwarts Eighth Year, Longing, M/M, hetero break up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-29
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-09-20 16:07:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9499508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ALPHAwolf/pseuds/ALPHAwolf
Summary: 'Gryffindor's are best known for one thing. Unexplainable, stupidly unshakable, heroic bravery. These passing week's I've come to doubt whether or not I was sorted into the right house. I, the so-called Boy Who Lived, the one to defeat Voldemort, have become spineless. Why? Because a certain gorgeous blond git just won't stop being beautiful, and I just can't seem to get over that fact.'It's Harry's eighth year at Hogwarts, and with no Voldemort around to distract him, he finally has to face his feelings.





	1. Chapter 1

Aesthetic for this series can be found here-> <https://alphaalnitak.tumblr.com/post/172126853110/aesthetic-for-my-series-finding-voice-one-r18>

 

* * *

 

 

Gryffindor's are best known for one thing. Unexplainable, stupidly unshakable, heroic bravery. These passing week's I've come to doubt whether or not I was sorted into the right house. I, the ‘Boy Who Lived’, the one to defeat Voldemort, have become spineless. Why? Because a certain gorgeous blond git just won't stop being beautiful, and I just can't seem to get over that fact. Or admit it aloud, let alone tell anyone that I might sort of be... Well, interested in other boys, on a level. I'm too pathetic to even tell my own girlfriend, let alone break it off with her. Instead, I've been avoiding. Avoiding certain beautiful gits, Ginny, and anyone who might clue on. Of course, Hermione put a stop to my attempts at avoiding her shortly after they began, so no matter what I’m still not going through this entirely alone.

I can't tell anyone. Not about how I felt when I saw him on the Hogwarts Express, the beginning of this our eighth year, how it made me smile to know I would be seeing him every day again. How upset it made me to watch the Malfoy trial, to watch him standing up there so empty, resisting the urge to wrap my arms around him. How It makes my stomach flutter when his hair catches the light, or his eyes twinkle as his lips turn up into a mischievous smirk. All these feelings I've held back since sixth year, which I'd only begun to admit after walking into potions late one day and thinking everyone had bought Malfoy's cologne, only to find everyone had been brewing Amortentia. I'd become obsessed, and I still am, quietly. Obsessed and possessed by the thoughts that haunt my dreams. Thoughts of kissing and touching, biting and holding. Fantasies that distract and fog up my mind to no end like Wrackspurts. Fantasies I can only dream to fulfil whilst I sit and stare longingly at what I can never have.

He's different now, since the war ended, more timid and reserved. He no longer throws insults at me as I walk passed. He keeps his head down, he sits alone. All I want to do is hold him and be the one to make him laugh again, even that snide mocking giggle he tries to hold back, which sort of reminds me of Tinkerbell’s titter.

Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I had taken his hand back in first year, if I had been sorted into Slytherin. Would I have joined Voldemort to be by his side? Would we be friends? Would we be more? I'll never know, but I can dream. Dream of those quick-silver eyes shining in the early morning light as he lays besides me and whispers good morning in some alternate present, while I just sit here and stare.

 

§

 

The dining hall was abuzz with life, students chattering away whilst shovelling down mountains of food. It was a wonder so little were fat. Breakfast was a rather quiet affair, compared to dinner or lunch, many still half asleep or unwilling to make any form of human communication as of yet.

The famous trio, Harry, Hermione and Ron, sat at their table, the first as distant as he always was in the mornings, staring off at the Slytherin table. By now most were used to the obsessive behaviour, and thought little of it. Hermione had been the only one to notice a change, when suspicious glances turned to prolonged longing. She would give Harry questioning looks whenever she caught his eye, but he only smiled and turned to his food for a matter of moments, before losing himself again.

He was the only one to take note of the fact Draco hardly touched his food, a mouthful if anything, before he began pushing it around with his fork. He left earlier than everyone else, as he usually did, only a few other students leaving moments after he disappeared out the hall doors. Then the Seeker's full attention would return to his friends and his meal.

"What do you think Harry?"

"Hm?" The teen’s attention turned from his bacon to his girlfriend, who sat in front of him.

"Luna and Neville invited me to go plant shopping in Hogsmead this weekend." The redhead explained whilst serving herself more toast. "I have nothing better to do, unless someone else asked me to go out." She looked up at him through her lashes, a long expectant look. Harry nodded, taking a sip of pumpkin juice.

"Sounds good, have fun." Ginny's face fell in an exasperated manner, movements now that little bit more violent as she poured herself juice, the backsplash hitting the tablecloth, and slammed the jug back down. Ron's eyes widened and he leaned over to Harry, whispering quietly.

"Must be on her rag or something. Ow!" Ginny's glare was only half as painful as Hermione's stealthy kick under the table.

The three left not long after, the witch of the group wanting to return to the tower and read through a chapter of her ‘History of Magic’ textbook before class began. The other two had begrudgingly agreed they needed the head-start too. The stone halls were still rather quiet as they walked towards the staircases, Hermione traveling ahead that little bit faster than the lumbering boys. When she suddenly stopped it wasn't till the two caught up that they took notice of her curious expression.

"Did you hear that?" She asked, looking down into the darkened hall to their left. The three listened a second before a distant laugh sounded, the noise cruel and twisted. Other's followed, jeering and boisterous yells becoming apparent. The three looked at each other surprised before speeding down the hall, towards the noise. A fight by the sounds, hooting and stamping becoming apparent.

There was a group of five gathered at the end of the hall, two Slytherin and three Ravenclaw, only one manly looking girl among them. No victim seemed to be present, till one lifted their arm high. A small white ferret was struggling in his grasp, held so tightly it looked its neck would snap. A puddle of black and green Slytherin robes lay beneath it on the floor.

Hermione gasped as the two boy's eyes widened, all grabbing out their wands. The five turned to them, the ferret suddenly thrown at the wall with a horrible crack, before they scattered away like terrified mice. A few stinging hexes were sent their way, howls ensuing as they met their mark. Harry's hand shook, Unforgivables flying around in his mind before he ran to the limp rodent's size. It spasmed uncontrollably, as if trying to breath.

"Reparifarge!" Hermione cast, also coming to kneel beside him. Where the ferret had been there was a swirl of white light, before a bare Malfoy lay curled up on the floor. His eyes were clenched shut, pale body littered with the beginning signs of bruises as his chest moved uncontrollably, mouth wide as if to gulp for air, but nothing would go in.

"He's winded." The girl said, placing her robe over his pastel skin as Ron looked away in an embarrassed fashion. "We need to get him to Pomfrey." The spasms stopped but the teen still didn't breathe, fallen unconscious. "Ron help me carry him!" The girl stood at Draco's head, gesturing for the other to take his legs. Ron faltered, unsure what to do as his girlfriend looked at him expectantly. She was about to yell at him but Harry had already scooped Malfoy up, walking as fast as he could towards the hospital ward. Ron and Hermione hurried after, the redhead grabbing Malfoy's robes and sprinting after.

The girl of the trio fussed about Harry, telling him to walk slower and be gentle, as they didn't know the extent of his injuries. He ignored her, speeding up his pace. Did she not realize he wasn't fucking breathing?!

They arrived at the infirmary in no time, Ron running ahead and pushing the doors open. Harry barrelled in, placing Draco down gently on the closest bed. He was about to yell for the nurse but the woman was already rushing over, wand in hand as her bosom heaved.

"He's not breathing," Hermione explained before the witch could ask.

"There was a crunch sound!" Ron added.

"We found him being strangled." She continued.

"They threw him at a bloody wall!" The redhead interrupted. Madam Pomfrey nodded, looking closely and readying her wand. Just as Harry was considering giving the other mouth to mouth the blond gasped, a white light hitting him from the nurse’s wand. He coughed violently, head against the pillows as his hands clutched the sheets. Blood began to splutter from his mouth, the teen’s eyes fluttering before they fell shut again, unconscious but breathing.

"Out you go you three!" She cried, sounding slightly panicked.

"But Madame-!" Harry went to argue.

"Out!" She shoved them towards the doors, grabbing the robes in Ron's arms and spelling the entrance shut tight the second they were through.

Harry slammed a fist down on the wooden doors, making the two jump, the metal handles shaking at the impact. His jaw was set and eyes clenched, the male of the couple behind him looking at his girlfriend in a lost fashion. She appeared sad, looking at the Seeker concerned. Ron gave a minute before setting his hand on his best friend’s shoulder.

"Come on mate, nothing we can do here."

"Let's go to McGonagall and report this." Hermione suggested, putting her own hand on his other arm supportively. Harry nodded, unclenching his fist and letting it fall from the door. He waited another moment before turning and leading the two away, black robes bellowing behind him. Hermione gave his back a piteous look whilst Ron looked to her and shrugged. She rolled her eyes and grabbed his shoulder, dragging the Keeper along.

 

§

 

"Harry mate, you okay?" Ron was looking closely at him, head ducked as he whispered. They were in the library studying, and so far he hadn't turned a page in the last hour. Hermione sat beside her boyfriend, pretending to ignore their conversation.

"Yeah." The black-haired teen replied, rubbing his forehead and the scar there, as he often did. He couldn't focus. The only thing in his mind seemed to be the image of Malfoy, laying naked and helpless, curled up on the cold floor. Now whenever he envisioned the other's porcelain skin it was covered in red marks, swellings everywhere that would develop into great purple blotches.

Ron nodded, his friends reply having been enough to sate his curiosity. Hermione could roll her eyes.

"We should go check on Malfoy later." She suggested. Merlin knew nobody else would. All his friends had either left or died. Parkinson and Zambini had transferred schools to finish their last years, Crabbe was dead, and Goyle had disappeared after the war. Anyone else had abandoned him, his father in prison and mother under house arrest.

"I'll go now." Harry suddenly said, the librarian hushing him as his chair screeched. Ron went to give a rebuttal, that they could go together later, but a swift kick from Hermione turned it to a pained exclamation, earning them another hush. Harry was already out into the hall by the time he recovered. The teen had even forgotten his book bag.

Potter hurried through the stone castle halls towards the hospital wing, as he had with Malfoy in his arms the day before. The blond had been so frail and thin. He could see his ribs were beginning to show, Champaign skin stretched tight around his lithe, tall frame. His first port of call once the other was out would definitely be to find a way to make him eat more, without him knowing, perhaps through the house elves.

The hospital bay doors had never looked so dark and foreboding as when he stood before them now. Finding his courage, he gently pushed them open and looked in. Pomfrey was nowhere in sight, nor was Malfoy. Only a pile of blankets covering a mound sat on his bed, a gently breathing hill. Harry smiled and quietly walked over to the bedside. At the sound of his footsteps the mound shifted, and a blond head peaked out of the blankets. Draco looked pale and exhausted, as he had during the war, a great purple and black bruise around his throat, which at first the lion had mistaken for the collar of a turtle-neck sweater.

He looked at Harry confused at first, still appearing half asleep. It was absolutely adorable.

'Potter?' He mouthed the word but no sound came out.

"Hey." Harry greeted, coming to sit on the end of the bed. Draco sat up from his curled-up position, which the other teen still found unbelievably endearing. Malfoy was so prim and proper, he'd always taken him as the type to sleep long and straight. It made fantasies of spooning and the other curling up on his chest to sleep torturously graspable.

The sheets fell from his shoulders, exposing that the other was now re-dressed in his robes, white button-up half undone and forest-green silk tie resting over the bed-head.

"I just came to check on you." Potter explained, the blond nodding. "Are you doing okay?" Draco stopped a moment, not expecting the other to question his condition, before bobbing his head slowly. "Is your neck okay?" This time he seemed to think about the question, before shrugging his shoulders. He was playing with the sheets corner, and avoiding looking at the other.

'Can't talk.' He mouthed.

"Do you need anything?" Draco almost smiled, the expression tight and unsure as he glanced up at the other and shook his head. The behaviour was odd, not self-assured and snobby as he was accustomed, almost shy.

Malfoy slowly turned his head and gestured with it to the bedside table. Hermione's robe was folded atop.

"Thanks." Harry said, getting up and taking the clothing. "Ur, these are Hermione's." He added, sounding awkward even to his own ears. His confidence and courage had flown out the stain glass windows on a Hippogriff's back, probably off on an adventure somewhere. On top of that Malfoy looked sickly and exhausted.

"Do you want me to go?" He shrugged, still playing with the sheets. Madame Pomfrey choice that moment to enter from the nurse’s office. She tutted and hurried over.

"You are supposed to be resting.” The woman scolded Draco. “You can come back to check on him tomorrow afternoon Mr Potter." Pomfrey hurried him along out the doors as he looked back to see Draco yawn and snuggle under the blankets. Now out the doors she rested a hand on the boy's arm.

"He'll be all healed up in no time." The witch promised, piercing blue eyes filled with assurance. Harry nodded and she pet his arm twice before walking off, doors creaking to slowly draw together behind her. Through the opening he could see Draco, looking over at him from just above the blankets hem. Their gazes held till the door groaned shut, and Harry was left staring longingly at the oak.

 

§

 

It was five days since he last saw Draco. He, Ron, and Hermione had dropped in to give the teen an enchanted parchment, which he'd managed to charm himself. Whatever was written disappeared moments later, so the teen could reuse it to communicate, as he still couldn’t speak. When he'd first given it to him the blond had looked shocked, debating a moment before letting his quill brush over the page with perfect precision. Beautiful calligraphic letters created a large 'Thank you' that even Ron had smiled at, touched by the uncharacteristic appreciation. The redhead had even confided to the two that Malfoy was an ‘alright bloke’ as they left, which swelled Harry’s spirits.

It had been a good day. Really he was all too happy that he was able to help at all, feeling like he owed the other. Considering he had almost killed the blond, and Draco had betrayed Voldemort to thrown him his wand, plus he was pretty much using thoughts of him nightly as masturbation fodder. So yeah, a piece of enchanted paper was nothing.

Harry walked with his friends by his sides towards the castle library, intent on studying. He'd get nothing done, he knew it, now that he'd thought of the final battle. It was one of his favourite memories, funnily enough. Not the death or the battle or anything, just one particular part. When Draco had left everything he knew behind, and run to him. He'd run to him and given Harry his wand, a part of who he was. A wizard didn't use someone else's wand, not unless they shared a bond, or in some cases killed the owner. You had to be compatible with the wand, you had to be compatible with the owner. As farfetched as it was, it gave Harry just that drop of hope that those beautiful silver eyes might look at him the same way he looked at them.

The trio entered the library, and the first thing to catch Harry's eyes was that perfect platinum head of hair, pale face focused down in a large book. Draco sat at a library table in his uniform studying. His neck had healed, and he now had some colour in his cheeks. It was a welcomed sight and Harry smiled, walking straight over without thought.

"Hey." The blond looked up and smiled gently, seeming to appreciate that they were on amicable terms.

"Hi." His voice was quiet like a breath of wind, and it seemed to pain him to speak. He quickly got out the folded enchanted parchment from his pocket.

"You weren't at Breakfast or Lunch." Or any of his classes that day as it was, not that he found that important.

'I cannot eat at the moment.' Draco wrote, just as Hermione and Ron approached.

"Bummer mate." Ron commented, after reading the now fading note.

"Has Madame Pomfrey given you anything that might help?" Hermione asked. The blond went to speak, forgetting he couldn't, and broke into a series of coughs. Harry hurried to his side as the librarian hushed them, Ron poking his tongue back at her once she turned.

The Seeker rubbed the hunched blonde's back soothingly, crouching besides him, but he could hardly stop to breath before falling back into hacks. He spluttered and struggled, finally managing to stop. The hand covering his mouth and lips now dripped blood, and the pale teen groaned when he saw, the sound sending him back into whooping coughs.

Ron swore and the three rushed to assist, Harry aiding Draco to stand.

"Shhhhhh!" The elderly librarian practically yelled at them, eyes widening as Hermione glared and Ron made a face.

Potter wrapped an arm around Draco's waist and tried to help him walk towards the door, but he kept keeling over and coughing up more blood. Out of options the teen picked the other right up, holding him close to his chest and carrying him back off to Pomfrey. Hermione grabbed the blonde's book-bag before following, her redheaded partner not noticing they had left due to the staring contest he had begun with the librarian. He quickly ran after them once he realized he was alone.

Draco struggled to sate his outbursts as he curled up against the others chest, probably dripping the blood from his lips onto Potter's robes. They were red and black anyway, it wouldn't show up. The vague thought passed through the Slytherin's mind that perhaps that had been the thinking behind the Gryffindor colouring, as they were to most likely to get into bloody fights. His musings were fleeting as he broke into hacking coughs again.

Harry was running now, panting from the weight in his arms as his feet slammed against stone. Thankfully the fit had stopped, the teen now moaning from the pain in his throat as he pressed his face into Harry's chest.

Pomfrey was standing by another student, a Hufflepuff who appeared to have a potion burn, when they entered. She quickly left the bandaged student, coming to the bed which Harry laid him in, the same as last time. Draco was groaning and clutching his throat, eyes shut tight.

"Stupefy." The teen was quickly unconscious, the woman also casting a clean-up spell and checking his neck. The trio watched, as well as the curious second-year. There were no longer any visible bruises, thanks to certain healing spells, yet Pomfrey looked troubled by the fact she couldn't find the problem. Harry's intense anxious gaze wasn't helping.

"It's difficult to heal as he wasn't in the same form when he acquired the injuries." She explained. "I'll do my best. Now, you know the drill Mr Potter. Off you pop." Harry sighed and allowed Hermione to drag him out.

"Anyone else getting a serious taste of Deja Vu from this?" Ron asked, the dark-haired wizard looking back behind them at the sleeping blonde’s perfect neutral features. The redhead gently pet his shoulder, a supportive smile on his lips. The Seeker turned to him and returned it weakly.

"You said it mate." And it wasn't a good thing.


	2. Chapter 2

It wasn't till two days later that Harry worked up the resolve to check on Draco again. He had been busy anyway, and the blond still hadn't left the hospital ward as far as he knew. It wasn't like he was just going to disappear randomly, Potter mused, walking in the large room. His eyes bulged when he found it empty.

Harry looked around the room wide eyed, no soul or blanket mound in sight. He was on the verge of a heart attack.

Had he gotten better? Had he gotten worse? Had he been sent back to Malfoy manor? Was he sent to a better hospital? Was he- was he-

The door to the nurse’s office opened and Malfoy stepped through. Harry let out an audible breath of relief, the other looking towards him at the sound. His eyes were vibrant and lustrous like unicorn’s blood, but his skin was as white as it had been the day Harry had found him breaking down in Myrtle's bathroom. A wave of guilt hit him at the memory, flashes of the other laying in a pool of blood as the one before him smiled kindly in greeting. Potter swallowed and nodded with a sheepish smile as Draco walked over back to his designated bed. He was dressed in his sleeping robes, and despite spending the last two days resting, he still looked tired.

"Potter." Draco greeted courtly, voice so quiet he only understood by the movement of his lips.

"Malfoy." Harry replied in turn, feeling a wall of formality suddenly form between them. Draco wore his usual neutral visage, nose tilted up ever so slightly as he sat with his hands resting in his lap. Harry sighed and put his in his pockets, coming into contact with a glass vial and remembering how he'd convinced himself to come face the other.

"Um." Harry held out the vial of viscous reddish-hazel potion, passing it over to the other. Draco hesitated but took it, seeming to recognize the honey-like liquid.

"Nutrients potion?" Harry nodded.

"It, um, can be diluted with water, so you can drink it easier." The dark-haired wizard replied, struggling to look at the other.

"You bought this for me?" His quiet voice was not as scratchy as it had been, which lead him to believe at least the other was healing. It didn't make him feel any less awkward though.

"Made it. Don't worry, Hermione checked it." He absently scratched the healing incisions he had gotten from collecting the tumtum nuts needed from deep in the forbidden forest. Hermione had managed to remove the poison from the thorn wounds, thankfully.

Malfoy noticed the movement and the scratches, giving him a surprised look.

"You gathered the ingredients yourself?" Harry nodded as the other looked closer at his hand, realizing the scars written in his skin.

'Not tell lies?' He mouthed the words he could see and sent him a questioning look. The teen quickly shoved it back in his pocket.

"Just a-ur, gift from Umbridge." Draco looked torn at this, turning away.

"Thanks." He looked down at the vial in his hands, before taking a water cup from the bedside and adding a few drops. The potion gathered like oil before slowly spreading, leaving the drink a pale peach colour. He downed the tall drink in a few long gulps, liquid droplets running down from the corner of his lip to slide over his soft, markable neck. Harry swallowed as he watched, the other taking a long breath once he was done, eyelashes flutter and lips moist.

Draco coughed lightly and Potter was immediately at his side, rubbing his back with a concerned expression. The blond blushed and sent him a coy smile in thanks.

Harry was quite certain it wasn't healthy the way his heart leapt into his throat towards the other. Man, he was so screwed.

 

§

 

"Mr Malfoy, returning to classes I see." Slughorn announced as the blond teen entered Potions later than most. Harry's eyes immediately turned to the Slytherin, beaming at the coy pureblood he hadn't been able to get off his mind. He smiled back gently, taking a seat at the back of the class besides a large Gryffindor who glared and shuffled away. Harry frowned as Slughorn began his instructions. He caught a few words about the importance of precision in stirring in this particular potion, focusing, staying on task, not blowing it up (he assumed that was pointed at Nevil), but he was too busy looking back at Draco unpack. He caught Harry's eye a second and immediately shifted his gaze to the board, pretending not to notice.

"Mr Potter," Slughorn called for his attention as he finished his directions.

"Hmm?" The dark-haired teen turned to the front, a quiet titter or two following.

"Would you perhaps like to partner with Mr Malfoy?" He offered with a smile, Harry's eyes lighting up.

"U-uh yeah-sure." He stood without turning back to look at Ron, the entire class watching with shock as he went to sit beside Draco, the large boy all too happy to swap places. The blond stood taller with his nose up, appearing unfazed as the other joined him.

The class moved into action, collecting ingredients and appropriate sized caldrons. The Gryffindor went to collect the equipment, watching as Draco went for the components. The blond wasn't as pale as before at least, and the bags under his eyes had gone. Still he wasn't convinced the other was in good enough health, especially since it was only his first day attending classes again. He made his way back to the table and lit the caldron, looking up to see Draco returning with an arm full of vials. A passing student bumped him with her hip and he faltered, one of the vials falling from his hold. He cringed, waiting for it to smash against the ground. It never did. The Slytherin peaked an eye open to find it levitating, Harry's wand extended towards the bottle. He gently coaxed it over to the table as Draco gave him a thankful smile.

"So umm... What are we making?" The blond stared at him with disbelief, before shaking his head with an almost fond smile. He pointed to his open potions book, the recipe for a courage elixir on it crisp, fresh pages. Harry pulled out his own book and opened to the correct page, placing his own tattered, noted book over it. Draco looked miffed at first, going to pull the old book away. He gently rested a hand on the others wrist, stopping his hand.

"It's Professor Snape's old book." He explained, the Pureblood’s eye's widening.

"Snape?" He mouthed, voice a whisper. Harry nodded as the blond appeared nostalgic, gently trailing a finger over the stained pages.

"You and Snape were close." He commented, making the other nod. "Family friend?" He nodded again, not meeting his eyes. It seemed as though he was about to say something, or at least mouth it, but Slughorn saw fit to interrupt as he walked passed their table.

"Get started please, you're going to need every second for this potion." Harry quickly made to look as though he was inspecting ingredients. "Be sure to read any warnings" The Potion Master reminded. Snape had highlighted and underlined the warning, written in small lettering down the bottom left corner of the page. 'Beware: this potion may cause urges of bravery whilst brewing, testing by scent is not recommended.' It always baffled him why they kept the warnings in such small font. One of the recipes he'd come across even had a 'death by ingestion', so small he wouldn’t have seen it if it hadn't been underlined.

Harry quickly skimmed the writing, readying to a pour in a jug of water. Draco's thin hands suddenly shook about in the air, shocking him into stopping. He looked panicked, pointing down at the book where it had written 'heat lion's urine to boiling point before adding water'.

"Oh." The black-haired wizard said, putting down the jug. "Um, maybe you should tell me what to do." Draco sighed in a relived fashion and passed him the urine, indicating for him to slowly pour. The blond would read ahead and pass him the correct ingredient, cutting up what was needed and motioning how many stirs where instructed. His hands were shaky, probably from lack of proper food, so he thought it better the other handle the ladle, but he watched with an eagle eye. Sometimes he’d stop him when he went to stir too many times, or he’d slow his pace by placing a hand on the others and carefully guiding it.

As the lesson wore on Draco became more confident with his instructions, daring to glare playfully if he went to stray from commands. Harry had begun almost adding the wrong ingredient just to spite the other, laughing as he snatched it from his grasp and gently hit his shoulder. Whenever he was forced to speak for specific instruction or the rare request for his opinion on Snape's notes contesting the book, which Harry always replied to trust what was handwritten, his voice was near silent. As the voices around them rose, people’s courage growing, he had to lean in close just to hear, the other's soft breath tickling his ear.

"So, what were you going to say earlier?" Harry asked as he slowly stirred counter clockwise. Draco tilted his head slightly with furrowed brows, encouraging him to elaborate. "About the book?" The blond made an 'o', bobbing his head and looking at the book. He focused on the potions instructions a few moments before his gaze flickered back to the Gryffindor, scolding him with a look for concentrating on him and not the elixir. Harry turned to the caldron and stayed quiet, allowing the other to reply in his own time.

"Snape was my godfather." He whispered quietly, chin barely resting on Harry's shoulder.

"Oh..." The wizard replied, "I'm sorry." He pulled the ladle from the pot and let it drip thrice in the centre, before resting it across the top. Draco shrugged, pulling away and not looking at him. He leant over the other to inspect the potions colour, nodding with satisfaction. Harry had to hold his own twitching hand down to stop from touching the other. He smelled amazing, like hair gel and apple cider. The potion may have been encouraging him to get a little closer than socially acceptable and take in a nose full. Luckily Draco either didn't notice or didn't mind. In Harry's mind it was sixth year all over again, drowning in the others scent.

The blond grinned triumphantly as he added the last ingredient, a spring of holly. The mixture slowly turned a blood red after one stir. The steam rising from the now bubbling solution was overwhelming, to the point he couldn't ignore the thoughts swimming in his head. He wanted to snog the other. He wanted to snog the other stupid right then and there. He watched the blond reread the noted books instructions, ensuring they'd missed nothing. He began to compare his and Snape's, taking out a quill and copying the notes in delicate, curling script. His liquid-mercury eyes were completely focused on the buckling pages.

Harry couldn't take it anymore. He took the other's wrist, drawing his attention as the Gryffindor readied to speak.

"All right class," Slughorn interrupted, making Harry groan, "Time's up. Leave your pots to cool and I'll collect samples to grade later." He announced, most looking up at the clock in shock. Time had flown by, many hadn't even finished their potions.

Draco had slipped out of Potter's hold and was packing away his things, before standing and blowing out the caldron flame.

"Hey," Harry sat on his stool looking up to the other, potions book in hand. "You wanna borrow it?" Draco seemed shocked at the suggestion, as if the volume was a priceless item just offered to him. "I only need it in class really, you can copy down Snape's notes." The blond looked... Touched, or at least the closest Harry had ever seen him to it. He nodded and took the offered hardcover, whispering a thank you as he drew his finger over the loosening binds. The Slytherin gave him one last smile before he left, Harry's eyes ever following.

The supportive pressure of Ron's hand rested on his shoulder, the redhead sending him a supportive smile to awaken him from his stupor and drag him to their next class.

 

§

 

"I'm sorry." He didn't feel he could ever apologize enough.

"It's okay Harry. I'm not upset with you for not being ready for this." He wasn't sure being ready was the problem, but arguing with the girl he had just broken up with didn't seem like the best idea. Thankfully there had only been a few tears, and no screaming or throwing. "It hasn't even been a year since the war. We all need time to recover. I know you've been avoiding people, but please don't lock us out. We're here for you." Ginny assured, placing a hand on his knee.

They sat in a quiet corner of the library, a rather selfish tactic on Harry's part to avoid any possibly loud and negative reactions to what he needed to say.

Harry smiled and nodded.

"I love you Gin, I'm just not in love with you anymore."

"I know." She sniffled, still recovering. "Just... Think of me like a sister, Merlin knows I don't need another brother, but we're family."

"Thanks Gin." The two hugged tightly, Ginevra lightly kissing his cheek before she stood.

"Well, I'm off to go eat the type of chocolate that doesn't run away from you." She said with a forced smile, Harry laughing lightly as she left.

All in all it hadn't been as bad as he thought. Of course he had left out a few things, being gay for Malfoy for instance, but he figured he could fill her in on those particular details at a later date, once the wound had healed.

"That went well." Harry turned his head in surprise at the unexpected voice. There stood Hermione, a large book in her hands.

"You were listening?"

"I was reading in the next bookshelf over. I just checked to make sure things were going okay every few sentences." She sat beside him on the bench where Ginny had been not long ago. They stayed quiet a few moments, the girl seeming to be considering what to say.

"You did the right thing, Harry."

"Thanks." He replied, looking at the shelves in the distance.

"Now you just need to tell him." Harry's eye's popped.

"Tell who?"

"I'm not stupid Harry." Of everyone he knew that best. They had a staring contest of sorts, a battle of wills until the dark-haired Gryffindor sighed, removing his glasses and rubbing his eyes.

"I know. I just... What if he doesn't feel the same?" It took her a moment to reply.

"Would you rather know he doesn't, or keep wondering if he does?" Merlin, he hated it when she said wise things.

"Come on Harry," Hermione whispered, "where's that Gryffindor bravery gone?" He rubbed his scar, a nervous habit, putting his glasses back on.

"What about Ron? How do I tell him I'm... Bisexual?"

"He'll be fine with it, Charlie came out recently remember." Harry nodded, thinking it over. "But... It's Malfoy." She gently placed her hand on the troubled teen’s.

"No Harry. It's Draco."

 

§

 

It was late afternoon on a Friday by the time he was finally ready. Well, as ready as he could be. It was almost a week since he'd broken up with Ginny, so of course the entire Wizarding World already knew. Ron had been surprisingly supportive, even when Draco's name was finally said, promising to be there for him no matter what 'the ferret' said.

Harry took a deep breath, watching from a distance as Draco studied up a tree by the lake. He was alone, no one to be seen. Now was the perfect time. The closer he came he could see the book the other was so focused on that he hadn't noticed his approach was the black potions text Harry had lent him. He'd had no need to take it back as of yet, seeing as they were now permanently partnered in the class. He had almost hugged Slughorn in the middle of the lesson when the Slytherin head had told him.

"Hey." Draco's attention sprang to the unexpected visitor, looking down at the nervously smiling teen.

"Potter?" His voice was soft but almost to its full volume, the only reminder of how he had found the other bruised and broken. It made him want to wrap the other up in his arm's, safe where no one could hurt someone so precious.

The black-haired teen climbed up the tree to seat himself before the other, comfortably nestled close on forked branches next to the trees trunk. Their knees were pressed together, neither making to remove the contact. Harry looked around casually as the other eyed him curiously.

"Soo... You free to talk?" The other’s thinned his eyes, seeming worried.

"Yeah?"

"It's nothing bad!" He quickly assured, glad that the blond immediately let out a breath of relief and shut his book.

"What's up?"

"I..." Think I'm totally head over heels in love with you and want to run away to make babies till the day we die? Something told him the other may not take well to that particular confession. "I, want you to know... That I care about you. Not in a friend way, but not in a not friend way either!" He quickly corrected as the other looked hurt. "In a, sort of... More, than friend way." Draco's eyes widened and Harry couldn't look at him, feeling year of emotions bubble to the surface. "I know we've never gotten along before this but we were stupid kids, I was a stupid kid, and even then I could never get you out of my head! You're all I think about, you’re in my dreams! All I want to do is be with you, just to talk to you and spend time with you and-" Hold you, kiss you, love you till your balls are empty. Harry swallowed, feeling he should stop before that sentence went too far. He was already coming off weird, no need to come off perverted too. "A-and even though... If you don't feel the same, that's okay... But I need you to know." He took a deep breath and finally looked up. "I'm crazy about you."

Draco sat in paralysed shock, staring at the other in disbelief. Suddenly his eyes began to water, and a tear slid from the corner. His bottom lip began to shake, and Harry began to panic. He didn't have much time to do so when he suddenly found himself struggling not to fall backwards out the tree, a crying blond in his arms. Harry swallowed the moment he balanced himself, gently wrapping his arms around the other. It felt... Right, besides the crying. He wasn't exactly sure how to stop that, but did his best gently hushing the other and sliding his finger's comfortingly through his silk hair. It was even softer than he'd imagined. The teen had his head burrowed in Harry's chest, sobbing quietly and gripping his robes. The Gryffindor wasn't sure if this was a bad or good sign.

Finally after a few sniffles the other lifted his head, the teen legend surprised to find the other smiling, tears still sliding down his face. The Slytherin wiped away his tears sheepishly, still held in the Seeker's arms.

"I-I love you." Harry's spirits flew. "I always have." The blond admitted, smiling coyly.

"Always?" The pureblood laughed quietly, wrapping his arms around the Gryffindor's neck.

"Always." The sun set through the trees casting a kaleidoscope of peach hues, framing the two's silhouette as their lips finally touched. In Draco's opinion it was time for a long, wet, overdue make out. Harry was more than happy to comply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked! Be brave, get out there and please don't wait till it's too late like Harry and Draco did OTHERWISE YOUR CHILDREN WILL FALL IN LOVE AND YOU'LL REGRET IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!!! Haha jokes ;P SCORBUS&DRARRY FOREVA

**Author's Note:**

> Remember to be Gryffindor brave and Slytherin proud of your sexuality! On a side note, I like Kudos please give them to me :)


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